Joke - Burial at Sea...

 

Burial at Sea


Chrissy and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their
uncle, who had been a sea-faring gentleman all his life,
to bury him at sea when he died. 

Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes
kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with
their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto
their rowboat.

After a while Chrissy says, "Do you think we're out far enough,
Barbie?"

Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee-deep
says, "Nope, not yet Chrissy."

So they rowed a little farther. Again, Chrissy asks Barbie, "Do you
think we're out far enough now?"

Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately
says, "No, this will never do. The water is only up to my chest."

So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over
the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor
Chrissy is really getting worried. Suddenly, Barbie breaks the
surface gasping for breath.

"Well is it deep enough yet, sis?"

"Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel."



Joke - How to Detect a Mental Deficiency...

How to Detect a Mental Deficiency

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his

hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was

most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, doctor," she asked,

"how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears

completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which

anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts

you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around

the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh,

"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?

I must confess I don't know much about history."

Short, Blonde Jokes...

Short, Blonde Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an AM radio?

It took her 3 weeks to figure out you could play it at night.

**

Did you hear about the 2 blondes that were found frozen to death

at a drive-in theater in their car?

They went to see 'Closed for the Winter'.

**

Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?

She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

**

Two blondes decided to go to Disneyland. They packed up

and headed out and were driving on the Interstate when

they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.

They started crying and turned around and went home.

**

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.

One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther

away, Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says, "Helloooooooooo,

can you see Florida?"

**

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were

approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the

pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth

until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde

employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument

for us? Would you pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing.”

Joke - Solitary Confinement...

Solitary Confinement

Three tourists were traveling in South America - an Irishman,
a Frenchman, and a blonde American. They found themselves
in a bar in a small Latin American country that was ruled by a
strict dictator. As luck would have it, they got into an argument
and a bar fight soon started. The local military police arrived
and arrested them.

At their trial before a tribunal, they learned their luck was even
worse than they had thought. The bar was owned by the brother
of the dictator. The three of them were promptly sentenced to
five years in solitary confinement.

Before they were taken away to prison, the judge said, "You are
foreigners to our country. I will grant you each one favor. You may
choose one item to help you pass the time in our prison. What do
you wish for?"

The Irishman asked for a five year's supply of fine Irish whiskey.
The Frenchman asked for a five year's supply of fine French wine.
The blonde American requests a five year's supply of cigarettes.
The judge grants all three requests. The three were led off to
prison and thrown into individual cells down in the dark, damp
basement of the prison.

Five years later they were let out one by one. First the Irishman
was released. He staggered out, drunk, barely able to stand, and
quickly stumbled out of the prison without saying a word. The
Frenchman was released next. He swaggered out, rather drunk
himself, and walked out into freedom. The blonde American was
released last.

He stepped out into freedom and said, "Does anyone have a
#*%$# match?"

Two funnies...

Ask The Blonde

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached
Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.

They argued back and forth until they finally stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee,
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you
please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr,
Kiiiiing."

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Stay!

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and
rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup
had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat resting, and I wanted to
impress upon her that she must remain there.

I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying
emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?"

"Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange
look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in park?"