St. Patrick's Day Jokes...

Irish Jokes for St. Patrick's Day

Three guys - one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are
walking along the beach one day. They come across a lantern
and a genie pops out. "I will give you each one wish. That's
three wishes in in total," says the genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman,
his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one, too. I want all
the oceans full of fish for all eternity."

So, with a blink of the genie's eye, FOOM, the oceans were
teaming with fish!

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around
England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity."

Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, POOF, there was a huge
wall around England!

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about

this wall."

The genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high and 50 feet thick.

It protects England so nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

_____

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub, when an irate Irishman

stands up and says, "You're making out we're all dumb and stupid.

I oughtta punch you in the nose."

"I'm sorry sir, I... "

"Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on

your knee."

_____

Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently. He is also watching

the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.

The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, "Okay, pedestrians."

Then he allows the traffic to pass.

He did this several times, and Gallagher is still standing on

the sidewalk.

After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time,

Gallagher approaches him and says, "Is it not about time ye let

the Catholics across?"

_____

"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked

President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

"Do we now?" came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.