Joke - Keep Walking...

Keep Walking

An eight year-old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls
over next to him.

"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a piece of
candy."

The boy refuses and keeps on walking.

A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the
car pulls over again. "How about $20 and two pieces of candy?"

The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking.

Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.

"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all the candy
you can eat."

The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in.

"Look," he says to the driver, "You bought the Ford, Dad. You'll have to
live with it!"

More dad humor...

Short Jokes for Father's Day


"Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?"
"But I've given you 10 glasses of water already!"
"Yes, but the bedroom is still on fire!"

<><><>

Little Johnny: "Dad, can I go to the bathroom?"
Dad: "Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?"
Little Johnny: "But I asked first!"

<><><>

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a
horse, writing something. "What on earth are you doing there?"
he asked.

"Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal.
That's why I'm here and that's why Susie's sitting in the
goldfish bowl!"

<><><>

Five-year-old Joey was in the bath tub, and his dad was washing
his hair. He said to him, "Wow, your hair is growing so fast! You
need a haircut again."

Little Joey replied, "Maybe you should stop watering it so much!"

<><><>

Father: "I hear you skipped school to play football."
Son: "No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!"




On Dad... Through the Years


4 years: My Daddy can do anything!
7 years: My Dad knows a lot…a whole lot.
8 years: My father does not know quite everything.
12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.
14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old-fashioned.
21 years: Oh, that man-he is out of date!
25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it.
35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad's idea first.
50 years: What would Dad have thought about that?
60 years: My Dad knew literally everything!
65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

More Father jokes...

Father Bragging


Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes
eight people to collect all the money!”


<><><><><><><><>



I Could Use a Little Money

Dear Father,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like,
you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately
replies by sending a letter back...

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep
even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge
is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

Joke - Not in Texas Anymore...

I will be posting funnies dedicated to dads for the rest
of the week! Hope you all enjoy! Hugs, Val =)

Not in Texas Anymore...

A young man who left his home in Texas at an early age, finally purchased
his own ranch in Oklahoma. He invited his father out for a visit, and took
him on a tour of the property.

Driving along in the son's pickup truck, a jack rabbit hopped onto the road
in front of them.

The son stopped the truck to let the rabbit pass, and the father queried,
"What in tarnation is that?!"

The son incredulously replied, "That's a jack rabbit, Dad, what did you
think it was?"

The father shrugged and said, "We grow 'em a lot bigger back home in
Texas."

So they went on and a little farther they came to a few buffalo roaming
the range. The son stopped the truck and the father again said in a
puzzled tone, "What are those?"

The son hesitantly said, "Those are buffalo, Dad; you gotta be kiddin' me,
you really don't recognize them?"

The father answered, "Well, I guess they are kind of familiar - it's just that
we grow 'em so much bigger back in Texas."

The son, a bit disgruntled, drove on in silence. They approached a low part
in the road with marshy wetlands on either side. A large snapping turtle
lumbered onto the road. The father peered intently at the creature and
said, "Now what on earth is that thing?!"

Without missing a beat, the son replied, "wood tick... "