Top Jokes of 2011....

Top Jokes of 2011

The jokes below were found
at Reader's Digest online.

Not So Helpful

The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day,
leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a sign that
listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the
first and explained our situation.

After what seemed to be a very long silence, the
voice on the other end said, "I don't know what
you expect me to do for you; I'm a psychologist."

"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed
here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"

"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone,
"how do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?"

- submitted by Christine Quinn


Relaxing Location

While my parents were making their funeral
arrangements, the cemetery salesman pointed
out a plot that he thought they would like.
"You'll have a beautiful view of the swan pond,"
he assured them.

Dad wasn't sold. "Unless you're including a
periscope with my casket, I don't know how
I'm going to enjoy it."

- submitted by Carol Beach


A Glitch

After an enthusiastic recommendation from my
wife, I began listening to the audiobook version
of Frank McCourt's 'Teacher Man'.

"I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed,"
I complained. "He refers to characters I don't
know and introduces them a half hour later."

My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered
on, disoriented by the jumpy story line. It wasn't
until the end of the book that my dilemma was
explained - I had set the iPod to Shuffle.

- submitted by Norm Sunshine

... to be continued...