Thanksgiving Humor...

Beautiful Thanksgiving Leaf

Last Thanksgiving, my niece came home with her school

project - a beautiful, handmade leaf with the words,

"I am thankful for my Mommy" printed on it.

Her eyes tearing, my sister said, "This means so much

to me."

Her daughter nodded. "I wanted it to put 'Hannah

Montana,' but my teacher wouldn't let me."

- true story submitted by Karrianne Wofe to

Reader's Digest, Dec. 2009/Jan. 2010 issue

The Blonde Thanksgiving Dinner

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving

dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition,

she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day,

her mother called to see how everything went.

"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so

much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.

"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.

"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

Thanksgiving Weather Forecast

In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early

weather report from our in-house weather reporters.

This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom.

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to

an afternoon high near 190 degrees Fahrenheit. The

kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook,

be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a

knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation

of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift

across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery

spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued

for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the

beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and

taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 degrees

Fahrenheit in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat

sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be

expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered

soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup

develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as

the only wish left will be the bone.